"You don't tell people to slap me upside the head!!"
– Aaron in MDIII
"A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming."
– Barbarella
"You don't want to be an individual... Individuals die!"
– Dr. Bradley
"[My life] could be worse. I don't see how, but it makes me feel better by saying it."
– Deathscythe HC 2010
"It's easier for you to shut your mouth than for me to shut my ears."
– IronParrot
"I don't think I'm the centre of the universe. Actually, I'm closer to the top."
– IronParrot
"Well, since I didn't win the lottery,
I'm back. I actually bought a ticket this time, you know. I thought it
might increase my chances of winning."
– IronParrot's English teacher
"Just because you're too much of a MORON to understand what I'm saying
doesn't mean it doesn't make sense!"
– Johnny Lurker, talking to various critics
"When you look back on your life, I want you to reflect on this advice.
You'll be thinking one of two things. Either you'll be thinking 'I'm glad
I took her advice', or 'I wish I had taken her advice'. Now I want you to
remember this over everything else I've ever told you. NEVER, under ANY
CIRCUMSTANCE, Never, EEEEEVER, have kids."
– Mrs. Schneider
"You know what sucks? Bill gates could spend a billion dollars...and
still be a billionaire."
– ShiniKitty
"Grow a mustache, and then you can talk to me about sex."
– Skie
"Hey, you can't quit, I'm killing you!"
– Skie in a game of M:TG
"If I were exuberently rich, I would
buy a square mile of grassland, surrounded completely by trees. A perfect
square. The land would be perfectly flat. And I would have a single chair.
And I would have an orange. And I would contemplate about the orange, until
my hair is grey. And then I shall die, with an orange in my hand, sitting
on a chair, in the middle of a square mile of grassland surrounded by trees."
– Tempest
Jeidai: Do you know how to do magic tricks?
brother's friend: Yea.
Jeidai: How?
brother: Would you rather watch a FOX special or a man bury himself alive?
brother's friend: Isn't that a FOX special?
IronParrot: "That's funny, in a very sick way."
Skie: "No, it's sick in a very funny way."
N: Who's this?
Jeidai: Meilin Li.
N: Can she fly? *accidentally drops Meilin figurine, then catches it*
Jeidai: No, she cannot fly.
Lady at the Deli: "I think you guys are addicted to the lotto."
Sean: "Well it's better then being addicted to drugs."